Minnesota Vs. Michigan

The Last 48 hours have been a non-stop Kalamazoo party.  We joined forces with our new friends in "Pleasant Drive," and "ProConPro" to rock Louie's Trophy Bar on a Tuesday night. The show went off without a hitch. As Peter and the Twins rocked like angelic pilgrims, several onlookers dropped to the floor and rolled around wildly speaking in Tongues, as the rock entered their spirits.

Later, as Jason from "Pleasant Drive" delivered a sermon of rock from his stage-pulpit, some believers were able to drink poisonous substances, and handle dangerous snakes without being harmed.

 

All seemed well in the land of Kalamazoo, until the band was struck twice by terrible news! The big show in Saginaw the next day had been cancelled! And even worse, the Minnesota Twins had lost to the Detroit Tigers. The news afflicted the band with such distress that they could only bring themselves to party and jam in the RV for an extra two hours after the show instead of the usual four.

After the shortened jam, the band slept uneasily, with the prospect of another embarrassing loss to the Tigers coupled with an absence of rock and roll in the front of their minds.

In the morning the band bickered. It seemed there would be no rock at all. As they were driving out of town they noticed a large bar. A giant LED sign advertised that Mini-Kiss would be playing. Hesitantly, their spirits rose. "Perhaps Mini-Kiss will let us play with them," they pondered.

Peter opened up a bit as he revealed that it had been a life-long dream of his to meet Mini-Gene Simmons.

With confidence they entered the bar to meet their destiny. Unfortunately, the bar staff informed them that Mini-Kiss would not be playing there for another month. The spirits of the young men dropped to an all time low. They gambled and drank heavily. In a move of desperation, Roger hatched a daring plan. "Let's just call every bar in this town; there must be somewhere that wants our manly brand of rock and roll."

"Yes," Peter remarked. "It makes perfect sense."

Soon they were back on the path to rock, making phone calls like telemarketers high on speed. It didn't take long before their tireless work paid off. Not a mile from where they stood, a bar was in dire need of more rock for their acoustic battle of the bands that evening. Suddenly, a cash prize of $100 was within their reach!

They sped to the new bar, but another problem soon arose. The spirited young men had to wait nearly two hours before they could compete. Cheap drinks threatened to derail the entire performance, as Ben fought like a ravenous wolf towards the bartender while the Twins struggled like asylum workers to hold him back.

^ Ravenous Wolf

Some claim to have seen Peter quietly back into a corner and wet himself as the ensuing chaos combined with both the souring Twins-Tigers baseball game and the intimidation of seeing his competition rock the stage harder than a Himalayan avalanche. 

Yes, it was looking bad for both the Minnesota Twins and the strapping young musicians, but something inside of them refused to yield.  Something readjusted their focus.  Some say it was the new waitress that just clocked in.

In any event, they played their rock and roll songs with the focus of Galileo, and with as much conviction as the Dahli Lama.

The band completed their set and surrendered the stage to fate.  From barstools they watched the closing minutes of the Tigers/Twins game as the Battle judges tallied the hundreds of votes.

The Baseball game was getting intense - top of the 9th, one out, bases loaded, and the Twins at the plate.  Between the game and the battle, you could cut through the Minnesota/Michigan tension with a knife.  As the judges approached the stage - results in hand, Joe Mauer swung through strike 3.  We looked at each other nervously.  From the stage, a young, sympathetic judge apprehensively stated that the results were "very, very close."   Justin Morneau stepped to the plate.

Peter wet himself again, but then, in a second of simultaneous Minnesotan glory, Morneau laced a game winning single up the middle past Detroit's diving pitcher and the bearded judge announced Peter and the Twins as the winners of the epic battle.

 

The dual Minnesotan victory rained down over all of Michigan like a golden shower.  The gods of rock smiled upon Peter and the Twins and awarded the young band the resources to continue their quest eastward.